Artemis's life
by Ashfowl
Summary: A collection of storys about Artemis's life.And about how Butler has a hard time protecting him.(Updated).
1. chapter 1

**I do not own the Artemis fowl characters so don't sue me**

**Artemis fowl 3 years old**

Although Artemis Fowl junior was only 3 years old he could already talk English and French fluently. At the moment Artemis was staring out the back window of the car. Butler who was driving looked into the rear mirror at the small child and wondered why he never showed any emotion he didn't smile or laugh or even cry. He didn't like company either the only people he liked around him were his mother, Butler and sometimes his father when he was around, if someone else came in to the room he would scowl and walk out. Butler's thoughts were disturbed by a tiny voice. "Butler!" "Yes master Artemis" 

"Look we are home" said Artemis pointing out of the window.

"Yes Artemis that's right". A few moments later Butler pulled up in fowl manor driveway; he had just taken Artemis to the park for a stroll while Artemis's father returned from a trip abroad. Butler got out of the car and walked around to open the side door for Artemis, he unbuckled Artemis and lifted him out the car placing him on the gravel driveway. Artemis placed his tiny hand in Butlers massive one and started to totter up to the main entrance.

When they entered the manor Artemis's mother came running up to him and pulled him into a tight huge. "Guess what Artemis, your fathers home and he brought your cousins with him, you've never met them but I am sure you will get along nicely. Their names are Rees and Duncan and they are twins, they are up stairs if you want to go and meet them, in the spare room on the first floor". She then stepped towards Butler a said in an undertone 'you better keep a eye on them they are both 4 years old and a bit boisterous'.

With that she walked away leaving Butler and Artemis standing at the foot of the stairs. After a few seconds silence Artemis began his way up the stairs Butler at his heels as always.

When they got to the entrance of the spare room Artemis pushed the door open slowly and found him self face to face with two identical boys both bearing the same evil grin. 'You must be Rees and Duncan' he said looking from one boy to the other. Yes I am Rees said the boy on the left and I am Duncan said the boy on the right. Artemis scanned both of them and noticed that Duncan had a small freckle on his neck and Rees did not. He stored this information in his head in case he needed it to tell them apart later.


	2. chapter 2

**I do not own the Artemis fowl characters so lets not get the lawyers involved please**.

Artemis bid goodnight to Rees and Duncan and left closing the door behind him, he could still hear them sniggering half way up the stairs. "I don't like them Butler" he said when he reached his bedroom door. "You never know Artemis they might turn out to be nicer than you expected," said Butler.

Artemis snorted, "I doubt it" he muttered, he nodded to Butler and went to bed.

Little did he know just how much he would have to put up with that weekend!

Artemis woke up; looking at the clock on the wall he saw it was 4 am he was just wondering why he had woken up so early when he heard a noise coming from down stairs. Burglars? He keep trying on trying to sleep for another 10 minutes before he decided it was no use. He put on some clothes and started to make his way to the ground floor where Butler's room was. He crept down the stairs still listening out for the noises; he was half way across the entrance hall when he heard a voice coming from the landing of the first floor. "Hey Artemis catch". Artemis looked up in time to see one of his mother's vases flying towards him; it broke on his head with a SMASH!

Butler had been sleeping when he heard tiny footsteps coming down the entrance hall staircase. He had been taught how to be a light sleeper at the academy, he also keep his clothes on at night incase of an emergency. He slowly got out of his bed but practically ran to the door when he heard a smash from outside. When he opened the door he saw Artemis turning around to look at him, his eyes were slightly hazed and rocking on his feet. Butler noticed that there was glass at the boy's feet. He also saw Duncan on the landing his arms over the railings although he had just dropped something. On closer inspection of the glass he realized that it was the remains of Mrs. Fowls vase. He looked back at Artemis and said four words "did it hit you?"

Artemis heard a door behind him open it was Butler he looked around for a second and then said to Artemis "did it hit you?" Artemis managed a small nod before every thing went blank and he hit the floor with a thud.

He opened his eyes, his head was aching and he seemed to be laying on the couch in the living room. Everything was a blur and he could see a figure moving around by the door.

His head was cold and when he looked up it was to see Butler's concerned eyes looking down at him. "Artemis your awake, keep your head still whilst I put this bandage on".

Artemis did what he was told and waited until Butler was finished putting the bandage on before asking him a question. "What happened?" he whispered.

"Your cousin here dropped a vase on your head, I have had a word with him but he insists it was an accident" he was looking at the door and Artemis realized that the blurred figure was Duncan. "I'm sorry cuss it was an accident," Duncan muttered.

Artemis could now hear Butler growling slightly by his ear. "Butler it hurts" said Artemis to distract Butler from his obvious anger (albeit what he said was true).

"I'm sorry Artemis it will do for a while, just keep your head still and don't think much" he said with a soothing smile. W hen Butler looked around it was to realize that Duncan had fled the room.


	3. chapter 3

I DON'T OWN THE ARTEMIS FOWL CHARACTORS EVEN THOUGH I WANT TO SO PLESE DON'T SUE ME

The next day went by in a haze for Artemis, wherever he went Duncan and Rees would appear and try to trip him up or push him over, luckily the third time this happened Butler was there and picked Artemis up before Rees pushed him over, which also resulted in Rees falling flat on his face in his attempt to push Artemis.

Artemis had noticed that Rees and Duncan also carried a box of tricks around with them; most of these didn't work on Artemis such as the fake spider and the trip wire (which Juliet had saved Artemis from walking into just in time). Later that day however Rees managed to squirt Artemis with a water gun from the set but had stopped and ran away just in time as Artemis's mother came out a door to the left. When Artemis told her what had happened she gave an exasperated sigh and went off to look for Rees, so Artemis decided to tell Butler instead. He walked down the hallway and was halfway down the staircase towards Butler (who was waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs), when he tripped up on a piece of loose red velvet carpet and went toppling down the stairs. On every roll he saw Butler who was running up the stairs, he was almost at the bottom when a giant hand caught him around the neck and pulled him up into giant arms that then took him back to the living room and placed him back on the sofa. Butler then pulled a pack of plasters out of his pocket and began to patch Artemis up. When he had finished he went to examine the stairs and discovered that part of the carpet had been loosened because the nails had been taken out. On the landing he also discovered an abandoned screwdriver. Artemis decided to go visit his father, as he hadn't seen him since his return.

When he got to his door he knocked and a gruff voice answered: "what do you want".

"Its me father and I…just wanted to say hello". The door opened and his father looked down at him. "I was wondering if…if we could do something together" Artemis stuttered. "Artemis you know I'm busy, go do something with your cousin's" he sighed.

"But I thought we could do something together you know father and son things" replied Artemis. "Artemis I don't have time for this go do something with your mother" and with that he slammed the door in Artemis's face. Artemis walked away wondering if that was how all fathers treated there sons. He was so deep in thought that he bumped into Butler halfway down the stairs and would have fallen again had it not been for Butler who grabbed him just in time. Butler was kneeling down and he had some nails in his mouth. "Watch out" he said his voice was muffled due to the nails. "Sorry" muttered Artemis. "Do you want me to hold those for you" he said looking at the nails in Butlers mouth. "Ok then" said Butler he handed Artemis the nails and continued fixing the stairs. Artemis thought that this was probably the closest he would ever come to doing a father son activity.

After dinner he decided he would go for a stroll outside it was almost dark and there was a cold wind. He walked over to the edge of the forest and was surprised to see two figures coming out of it. It was Rees and Duncan and they appeared to have stuck leafs on themselves for a camouflage affect. "I can see you, you know," said Artemis a scowl starting to grow on his face.

"Dam" they said harmoniously. "In that case we should take you prisoner," said Rees with an evil grin. And before Artemis could shout for Butler (who was cleaning up in the kitchen where Duncan had splattered the wall with spaghetti), Rees had put his hand over Artemis's mouth whist Duncan held on to him so he couldn't escape. They walked into the forest and didn't stop until they came to a giant oak tree which had a ladder attached to it. They then very slowly started to climb up (still making sure Artemis could not make a sound let alone call for Butler). When they got to the top (where they had made a camouflaged tree house), they tied Artemis up and gagged him with a sock (which Artemis found extremely disgusting). After play fighting for ten minutes they left leafing Artemis in the giant oak with nothing but a thin polo shirt on.

Meanwhile inside Butler had finished cleaning up in the kitchen and was now on his way upstairs to look for Artemis. When he reached Artemis's door he knocked gently incase Artemis was asleep, when he got no answer he opened the door and walked over to the four poster bed but was surprised to see Artemis was not there. He went to his room (which was just down the hall) to check the security cameras. He could see Mrs. fowl asleep in her room, Mr. Fowl working in his study and Juliet muttering about cucumber slices on the forth floor, but Artemis was no where in sight. He was starting to get worried now and decided to go look in the grounds, he remembered Rees and Duncan saying they where going out there but he couldn't imagine Artemis would go with them.

Artemis could now hear owls hooting in the trees, he was shacking and wondered how long it would take for someone to find him. Then he heard footsteps coming up the ladder but was disappointed to see Rees climb onto the landing a bucket of what seemed to be water in his hands.

"I brought you some water," he said. However the bucket was too heavy and he spilt the whole lot over Artemis, Artemis felt the cold liquid trickling down the back and front of his t-shirt, now he was definitely cold. "Oops" said Duncan who had climbed up behind Rees. "We better let him go," said Duncan. "Umm ok but if you want us to let you go then you have to beat me in a sword fight" said Rees thoughtfully. So they undid the ropes binding him and took off his gag. "BUTLER"! Yelled Artemis.

Butler was now skirting the edge of the woods searching frantically for Artemis. He had no choice he would have to search the woods, he doubted Artemis was in there but it was the only place he hadn't searched yet. So he began to make his way through the woods looking out for footprints or broken twigs. He was just wondering what way to go when he heard a voice yell "BUTLER!"

He started to run in the direction of the voice, only stopping when he came to a giant oak tree with a ladder attached to it. He looked up and saw Artemis tilting on the edge of a branch. Rees was waving a stick around whilst Duncan watched. "BUTLER HELP" yelled Artemis who hadn't noticed the bodyguard now climbing the ladder as fast as his feet could carry him.

Artemis was more scared then he had ever been in his whole life. He was on the edge of a branch and Rees was beyond reasoning he was waving the stick around like a mad man. "BUTLER HELP" he yelled in a last attempt to help Butler find him. And then it happened he slipped off the branch.

He gasped and expected to feel the branches whipping him on the way down, but instead he felt a giant hand grab him around the waist. He turned around and sighed with relive to see Butler.

**1 hour later**

Artemis was sitting by the fire a towel wrapped tightly around him. Butler was shouting at Duncan and Rees in the next room. A few minutes later they came out, Rees and Duncan walked up to him.

"S.Ss…sorry" they mumbled, they where shaking out of fright and kept shooting Butler nerves glances. "Now you've done it," said Artemis thinking fast, "the vampire is going to get you now, he doesn't like people in his forest, he likes me though so I'm ok, but he's going to get you now" these words had the affect Artemis had hoped for the boys where now shacking violently, fear in there eyes. And then they ran all the way to their room where they hide under their covers.

On Sunday morning Artemis woke with a start, there was a flashing light coming through his window, he looked outside but couldn't find the source, so he got dressed and went outside where he saw that the Bentleys headlights where on. He walked up behind the car but then felt something fasten around his leg, he looked down and to see some thick rope tightened around his it. "We've got him we've got the vampire," yelled one of the twins from the front seat of the car. "No we haven't its only Artemis," said Duncan who had just got out the car.

"Haven't you realized yet, I am the vampire" said Artemis with an evil grin.

"I knew it, drive Rees," yelled Duncan getting back in the car.

"WHAT, THIS IS MY MOTHERS CAR SHE WILL KILL YOU!" shouted Artemis, but next second he felt a jerk and he fell flat on his back.

Butler woke to hear a car engine revving, he jumped out of bed and ran outside where the strangest

Sight meet his eye. The Bentley was speeding down the long drive way, behind it Artemis was being dragged along by his leg yelling for Rees and Duncan, (who he guessed where driving the car) to stop. Butler started to run, it was now his life ambition to untie Artemis from the car.

After running flat out for five minutes (it was a very long drive way) he started to slow but quickened his pace again when he heard Artemis shout "BUTLER IT HURTS". After a minute or so he started to catch up with the car. He finally managed to grab Artemis. The rope attached to the car was now dragging him along to. He pulled a knife out of his pocket and cut the rope in a matter of seconds. Butler had Artemis in a tight hug and they both went rolling into a ditch, Butler shut his eyes and breathed for a few seconds until he heard a CRASH! The boys had obviously hit the tree at the end of the drive; Butler knew they were ok however because he could hear tiny voices saying things like "ouch get off of me". He turned around to see how Artemis was and was glad to see Artemis was conscious and nothing seemed to be broken, he only had a few cuts and bruises but they could be fixed up by the pack of plasters in his pocket, then Artemis said something Butler wasn't expecting. "Thank you Butler".

"Just doing my job Artemis" Butler panted back.

Rees and Duncan appeared at the top of the ditch "our parents are. Are here."

"Please don't eat us" said Rees to Butler (now Artemis knew what Butler had said to them last night). "Please don't bite us," said Duncan to Artemis his voice shacking.

And with that they ran to their parent's car tripping over their feet as they went.

Butler helped Artemis to his feet and said "I changed my mind about you and them being friends they are too dangerous" panted Butler.

"Don't worry I stole something of there's, they are going to find something else in there box of tricks, I write them a little note".

And on the note it read:

_Dear Rees and Duncan _

_I have stolen all of your tricks because I don't think they are suitable for kids your age._

_Don't worry I will find you and when I do I will make sure you pay._

_From _

_Your friend the vampire. _


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: unfortunately I do not own anything in this story accept my nursery!**

**ARTEMIS FOWL 7 MOUNTHS OLD**

(Sorry I have gone back a few years)

BABY CARE NURSERY "I can't believe you're mother talked me into this" grunted Artemis Fowl to his 7 month old son Artemis Fowl the second. He was taking his son to his first day of school at the private baby care center. On entering a huge man with lots of muscles came striding up to them. "Hello I'm Arnold how do you do?" and without waiting for a answer he said: "here at my nursery we teach discipline and help bond the child with there parents, if you and you're son can go and sit over there (he pointed to a chair on the other side of the room) I'll be with you in a second, I'm afraid no other people but the parent and child can enter, it's for there own protection we can't let any old person walk in off the street" he said all this looking at Butler. "I am the boys bodyguard and do not intend to hurt him" Butler said sarcastically. "Fine if you must stay you can wait by the door".   
_10 minutes later_ "Ok can you come sit around please?" said Arnold indicating to for the parents and children to come closer. "I think its time for a bit of bonding, what you're going to do is the parents are going to sit at one end of the room and children at the other, then I'm going to scare and chase each child in turn. Hopefully the child will crawl to his or her parent's protection. This should teach the child to come to there parents for help and guidance in future. He took a while lining up the children (they kept moving) but after scaring a young boy called Tom into wetting his pants the other children stayed still. He then preceded to scare each child in turn, they all crawled quickly to there parents before Arnold caught them (accept for Tom who yelped and hide under some covers. Artemis's dad had his nose up in the air he completely disapproved of this game and was tempted to get up and leave. Meanwhile Butler was watching Arnold get nearer and nearer to his principal. Baby Artemis looked up there was a big man scaring him but he knew what to do, he started to crawl. Butler watched Arnold roaring at Artemis, he saw a slight flicker of confusion in the young airs eyes and then Artemis started to crawl, The only problem was him wasn't crawling towards his father he was crawling towards Butler. Arnold continued to chase him roaring but Artemis managed to crawl behind Butler before Arnold could catch him. Arnold reached down to hit Artemis's arm with the ruler but stopped when Butler growled. "With all due respect sir the boy has to be punished for coming to the wrong person," said Arnold striating up and glaring at Butler. "Well that's not going to happen whilst I'm here," said Butler giving an equally mean stare. "Luckily for you I'm going to let you stay and I won't remove you by force unless I have to," said Arnold (little did he know he was talking to the third most danger's man in the world)…   
So what do you think? I think its crap. Please review and say if you want me to continue. Also give me some ideas, for example if you want Butler and Arnold to have a fight and give me ideas for how old you want Artemis to be in my next story and what you want to happen (in other words you suggest it I'll write it). 


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